You Say Hearsay

 

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September 2005 October 2005


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   Thursday, October 06, 2005  



The once quiet community of Yuma, Arizona has been crawling with Federal Agents after this photo was released onto the AP wires on Wednesday.

Thelma Masterson, 68, contacted the local newspaper with her pixelated proof of aliens in her bathtub.

"They were cute, but the splashy little dickens got my bathroom linoleum just soaked.", Thelma said in her interview with the Yuma Sun Herald.

   [ posted by Shari @ 9:19 AM ] [ ]



   Wednesday, October 05, 2005  


Sophie Lulubell of Two Dot, Montana is shown here practicing for her unprecedented face maneuver - officially called "The-Inside-Out".

Miss Lulubell, at the tender age of 6 years, has been diligent in her training. When asked about the years spent leading up to this moment Sophie said, "I just ignored my Mom when she told me that it would stick like that. I knew she was lying."

The official attempt can be viewed on a live broadcast of the Lifetime channel's "Stupid Pet Tricks" at 5 pm on Saturday.

   [ posted by Shari @ 7:59 AM ] [ ]



   Tuesday, October 04, 2005  


Abigail VonBerken shows another interested scientist her latest discovery of what she believes to be ancient sanskrit writings.

Her latest discoveries involving ancient peoples and the use of blue and pink sidewalk chalk are published in the latest "Science" journal.

   [ posted by Shari @ 7:58 AM ] [ ]



   Monday, October 03, 2005  


Polly Marie Pocket, 5, is shown outside her elementary school in Walla Walla, Washington this September.

"Being only 2 inches tall definitely presents it's own set of challenges in the classroom," said Mrs. Fields, her kindergarten teacher. "She will not be treated differently at all. For example, Miss Polly got in trouble for climbing on the school's chain link fence."

Polly seems unfazed and thinks that using crayons twice her size is, "Super fun.".

   [ posted by Shari @ 1:13 PM ] [ ]



   Friday, September 30, 2005  















Childhood Whimsy, Inc. announced today that their first attempt at job sharing within their company is working out well.

"In the first few weeks we had some reports of children receiving colored eggs instead of money under their pillows. We have tried to make it right."

If all goes as planned, Childhood Whimsy, Inc. will be incorporating the jobs of Santa and The Great Pumpkin before Halloween 2006.

   [ posted by Shari @ 12:16 PM ] [ ]


 


The bone of an ancient dinosaur, the turkiatomus dinnerea was found on Monday with remnants of flesh still clinging to the bone. Dr. Mariya Smith was quoted as saying, "This is the DNA find of the century. We have been waiting for this for a long time."

Unfortunately, the fleshy fossil was consumed by a voracious kindergartener on Thursday, before any tests were conducted.

The child is showing no ill effects from her beastly banquet, but Dr. Smith was not available for comment due to the fact she has been committed to the psychiatric ward of the hospital in Hoboken, New Jersey.

   [ posted by Shari @ 7:42 AM ] [ ]



   Thursday, September 29, 2005  

Please click to enlarge picture.
A horrid site. A mass grounding of "barbietious mattelamus" at an undisclosed location. Scientists are still at a loss to explain this rare event. This species, more often referred to as "Barbies" are known to regularly shed their clothes never to don them again. It is widely believed that this pertains to some elaborate mating ritual. Mass beachings are more rare, however. A group of five volunteers tried to save these majestic creatures, but to no avail.

   [ posted by Shari @ 2:38 PM ] [ ]